


Nightmares make me go insane

by Rainy_Summer17



Series: Cherry magic stories [1]
Category: 30歳まで童貞だと魔法使いになれるらしい | Cherry Magic! Thirty Years of Virginity Can Make You a Wizard?! (TV)
Genre: And Kiyoshi at communicating but this isnt new, Angst, Anxiety, Conflict, Conflict Resolution, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fear, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Insecurity, Leaving Home, M/M, Misunderstandings, Pre-Canon, Sad, Sad with a Happy Ending, Sappy Ending, They're both very bad at feelings, What Have I Done, Worry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-12 00:02:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29626041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rainy_Summer17/pseuds/Rainy_Summer17
Summary: Kurosawa's heart jumped in his chest. Kiyoshi isn't here. He isn't in the room. He isn't in the bathroom or in the kitchen. Fuck, where is he?!OrAdachi is bad at communicating, but so is Kurosawa. When after a conflict, Kurosawa discovers that his boyfriend didn't come back home, it spirals very quickly. Where could Adachi be?[Title from Paranoia by Kang Daniel]
Relationships: Adachi Kiyoshi/Kurosawa Yuichi
Series: Cherry magic stories [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2176761
Comments: 7
Kudos: 70





	1. Fear

The sun was gently penetrating the room on this sweet October morning. The sun's rays, while beautiful, were very disturbing to Kurosawa when they landed on his face. A growl left his lips as he found he hadn't fallen asleep in his bed. The surface his face rested on was hard and cold, like a desk.

_Did he even get home last night?_

The answer was no, Yuichi quickly realized when he looked up and saw the empty pantry stretching out in front of him. It couldn't have been past 8:00 am, which was pretty early for a Saturday morning. It wasn't a time Kurosawa used to wake up though, but his head ached horribly. He saw in front of him the files opened from the day before, the ones he had angrily started at its usual leaving time, even though their deadline was in 2 weeks. The ones he started after he argued with Kiyoshi.

At the thought, Kurosawa's heart sank in his chest. He regretted so much the words spoken during the previous evening and the way he had simply walked away, without even glancing at his beloved... He had not seen him at all during the evening, the latter probably just going back home. Where could he go, anyway?

In a year of dating, it was certainly not the first fight, but probably the biggest. It wasn't huge, but it had never happened before that the conflict did not resolve itself on the same day. Usually, both Yuichi and Kiyoshi hated leaving a misunderstanding as it was, working their best to communicate. Even if it was sometimes necessary for one of the two to get some fresh air to think a little, they always met after a few hours maximum to sort everything out. However, at this point, Adachi did not appear to have returned to the office to look for Kurosawa. Kurosawa didn't blame him; who would want to go to so much trouble to pick up their boyfriend in the middle of the night?

It sometimes happened that Yuichi fell asleep at the office, although rarely, but Kiyoshi would come and pick him up every time. After an argument, it was normal that the older one didn't want to come. Surely he had written to him-Adachi could be angry but still worry like crazy.

However, when Kurosawa took his phone out of his pocket, he found that there was no text from his partner. His heart sank in his chest, remorse overwhelming him. _He must be really angry to behave like this._ Ah, Yuichi should take him lunch, or maybe give him flowers? He wanted to be forgiven. He couldn't leave it as it was. 

That's why the youngest man decided to quickly shut his things and walk to the nearest florist. The sunlight was blinding him a bit, his head throbbing but he didn't care, only walked the fastest he could. Kurosawa absolutely hated conflicts, hated hurting his beloved, and needed to solve it all as soon as possible. As he walked, though, the scenario of the previous day played itself in his mind, bringing him to bite his lips nervously until it nearly bled. 

_"Why must you always do everything in my place?! I know I look young but I'm a 31-year-old man! I don't need your help, stop doing things for me! It's not helping me at all!"_

He recalled seeing his lover so angry, his eyes shining with unusual determination as he whispered-yelled. They were still at work, in the middle of the day, and Adachi obviously didn't appreciate Yuichi doing his work. Kurosawa just wanted to help him! He was already at work, and getting home at 6 pm or 8 pm didn't change much for him. He knew the deadline of those documents was soon, and Adachi was stressed over them, so he figured out he could help? 

At the moment, though, seeing his boyfriend so angry over him just trying to help make him feel like Adachi was accusing him of just messing up his work. That was never what he had intended to do! So he did something that was very out of character of him and got angry too. Not too much, it would never be his style to yell and be enraged, but Yuichi clearly got pissed off and they argued for quite some time before he quitted the empty reunion room they were in. 

_I just wanted to help...I didn't want to mess up his work or make him think I think he can't do it properly...Ah, why did I do that?_

Kurosawa regretted greatly getting mad and ending the conversation with _"Well, don't complain next time and never ask help from me again then! Do everything alone!"_. It wasn't bright, and he hoped he'd be able to be forgiven. 

Upon arrival, he had flowers in hand and the breakfast he knew Kiyoshi loved so much. Once he stepped in, he noticed how everything was neatly placed, as if nothing changed since they both left the previous morning. Not even the book Kurosawa placed on the table, something Adachi would often scold him for. The latter had the habit of picking his mangas up and placing them correctly, so it was weird he didn't do it. _Maybe he went to bed directly...Getting into arguments with clients tires him usually...Maybe it's the same thing with everyone?_

Kurosawa didn't really think about it and placed the breakfast on the table, before putting the flowers in a vase. They were Adachi's favorites too, he hoped he would like them. 

Not wanting to disturb his beloved, Yuichi resisted the need to go into the conjugal room to look at him sleeping. It may seem a bit creepy, Kurosawa was well aware of it, but there was something so enticing about sleepy Kiyoshi. He looked so peaceful, no anxiety or worries on his pretty face, only a peaceful look that was so beautiful on him. He was also so damn _cute!_ Just the thought could make Yuichi's heart start to race and a small smile bloom on his face. Ah, he'd have to wait to make it up to his beautiful, perfect boyfriend. He couldn't wait; in the meantime, he'd go take a shower and read.

Three long hours passed and Yuichi inspected the time. It was now around 11h30, and Kiyoshi usually woke up way before that. _Maybe he slept late?... Did I disturb his sleep? Did he fall asleep waiting for me? God, I hope not… Ah, I can't afford to make him so worried! You're so dumb Yuichi!_

Kurosawa couldn't keep waiting, he had to go check up if Adachi was at least okay. He knew the older's sleep to be very fragile; the first time, he could easily wake up just because Kurosawa turned in his sleep. Though he now got acquainted with a presence next to him while he slept, he could still wake up pretty often if his boyfriend entered the room to take something or just if something fell in the house.

So, Yuichi slowly opened the door, praying to not wake his lover up. As he did, he could feel the wind touching his skin, which made him think something was wrong. _Adachi hates sleeping with the window open, usually. Why didn't he close it when he came home?_

Kurosawa was quickly met with his answer when the door was fully opened. In front of him stood their large bed, empty. Still neatly done, as Yuichi did it every morning. On the nightstand were still left Kiyoshi's glasses, the one he got some weeks ago and wore pretty much every day after work because he couldn't read without them. Adachi's own manga was next to them, untouched, and immediately, Kurosawa's heart jumped in his chest. _Kiyoshi isn't here. He isn't in the room. He isn't in the bathroom or in the kitchen. Fuck, where is he?!_

Despite knowing how dumb it was, Yuichi never checked his house more thoroughly, running from room to room to check everything, even the damn fridge. He didn't care; he was way too worried. Where was Adachi?! 

After what seemed like a full hour of searching, the tallest man slumped on the sofa, defeated. His boyfriend was nowhere to be seen. He was mad enough to go elsewhere; but where?

Kurosawa swallowed the lump in his throat, his breath starting to get heavy. He never meant to make his boyfriend so angry he wouldn't even come home! He couldn't afford to lose him a second time, he was sure his heart couldn't handle it. He simply couldn't live without Adachi, even more with the fact that the man probably hated him on his conscience. Just because he was dumb enough to treat him like a child. _You're the worst dumbass, Yuichi!_

Through his panicked mind, an idea slowly made his way. _Tsuge!_ Yes, the older man was probably at Tsuge and Minato's, that would be logic, and he could beg the writer to at least assure him Adachi was fine. Tsuge wasn't good at lying anyway, Kiyoshi told him many times. He simply had to call him!

 _"No he isn't here, I'm sorry."_ The words echoed in his mind as soon as the call ended. Yuichi's throat felt all dry, impossibly tight and he felt the tears get to his eyes. He couldn't live with the fact something might have happened to his boyfriend on his conscience. He would never be able to forgive himself. That was it, Adachi wasn't heartless enough to break up with him like that, even more if he left all his personal things like that at their house. Either he slept outside or at someone's Kurosawa didn't know he knew...Or something very bad happened. 

KiKi💖: 

_Hey...I'm sorry._

Distributed 

_Like, really much. I'll do anything to be forgiven, I swear._

Distributed 

_Please tell me at least that you're fine?_

Distributed 

There was no answer, he didn't even read the texts. Kurosawa couldn't do anything but walk around in circles, legs shaking and whole body feeling uncomfortably hot under the stress. He couldn't stay here while Kiyoshi was possibly in danger! 

_Go see outside!_

That's what he did. He ran and screamed his lover's name, people staring at him funny in the streets but he couldn't care less. He ran like his life depended on it; it kind of did. Yuichi felt out of breath, his throat burning and whole body screaming in pain when he finally stopped running after hours. The young man let himself fall on the ground, against a wall, absolutely defeated. He checked all the places his lover might go...He couldn't do anything more. It wouldn't help...He even called Rokkakku and Fujisaki a bit earlier. 

Adachi was nowhere to be seen and it was probably his fault. What if he intended to go home alone and got kidnapped?? Hit by a car?? What could even happen to sweet, anxious Kiyoshi outside? So many not-so-nice things…

Kurosawa felt like crying, and couldn't help it when the tears fell out of his eyes, soaking his face wet. It was dark outside now, the night swallowing him whole and he stayed there weakly some times, just crying. He felt enraged at himself, wanted to slam his own head into a wall repeatedly. 

Eventually getting up, he felt his legs shake like jelly. He could barely stand up without stumbling, but he had to anyways. Yuichi knew he looked like a kicked puppy as he made his way home, tears drying on his cheeks and head hanging low. He was only looking at the ground, sometimes turning his eyes. With a dumb hope to see Adachi there suddenly.

His heart was tightening more every second in his chest, so much Yuichi was surprised blood still flowed in his veins. His eyes felt itchy from crying so much, not something he was used to. The younger man was someone very far away from his emotions usually, always kind of avoiding them if they were negative and rarely falling under the pressure. But when it came to his beloved, he couldn't help it. Especially not at the deadly thought of him being in _danger. One that Kurosawa knew he couldn't save him from._

The thought took from him another sob, his keys weakly unlocking the front door of the house. He hoped, dumbly, that Kiyoshi would be inside. Even if he was angry, even if he would hit Kurosawa, scream at him, even tell him he was leaving him. He'd take everything as long as he would know Adachi was alive and somewhat safe, despite what it could mean for him. Even if Adachi leaving would break him into pieces, reduce him to a mess that wasn't himself...He was ready to live that if it meant nothing happened. If it meant Kiyoshi would come back to work, live his life, and not be in danger.

That night, Kurosawa just fell on the cold living room floor, next to the couch. He spent the entire night fighting sleep, in case Adachi would call or just text him back. His eyes were hurting, closing every second, and blinking became a true nightmare. Yuichi knew coffee could help him stay awake but he didn't have the strength to get up, only looked at his texts that remained unseen and the picture that was his wallpaper. One of Adachi, that he took during their first date( _pre date)_ in the amusement park. Only seeing Kiyoshi's smile as he rode that fake horse in the carousel killed Yuichi inside, but he _couldn't stop looking_.

He didn't want this picture to remain one of the only ones he'd have of his boyfriend or one of the only ones _anyone_ would ever have.


	2. Every day I’m collapsing, Help me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adachi's point of view.
> 
> [Title from Help me by Nuest]

Sunlight slowly peeked in as Adachi opened his eyes, only to close them again quickly. He could feel the wind getting through the open window and silently cursed whoever entered the room to open it; he hated waking up cold. His head still hurt a bit and he wasn't sure how he fell asleep or when. The only thing he remembered was lying to his mom about being tired and going to his room to cry. 

She didn't know about him and Kurosawa, never really heard of the boy except once when Kiyoshi was complaining about people in the office and made a brief statement about his handsome coworker-How he was the only one who didn't dump work on him, with Fujisaki, but how annoying it was to see the girls all around him every time. Thinking about Kurosawa, his sweet, blinding smile that turned his eyes into beautiful crescents like the moon...It made another sob escape Adachi's lips. He couldn't help it, felt absolutely miserable and pathetic. He almost wanted to reach for his phone and call his boyfriend, hear his voice as he used to every morning but he quickly realized...He didn't have his phone.

_ Fuck. I'm so fucked.  _

He couldn't believe he had been so dumb to leave the office without retrieving his phone from his desk. Kiyoshi had been so angry at himself and his boyfriend, that he decided to go directly to his parent's. He promised his mom he would come to see her that weekend, something he never informed Kurosawa. He thought he would tell him later...But he didn't have the time.

_ I'm such an idiot...He probably already hated me last night, now I'm only making it all worse! Fuck! _

Kiyoshi's breath was picking up, anxiety bubbling in his chest and his throat tightening until he could barely breathe. There was no air getting in his body, only tears falling down like a waterfall on his cheeks. He hated it, he hated this. That's why he always stayed single. His body was going on overdrive, so many thoughts intruding his mind at the same time, he could barely handle it all; it was worse than having other people's thoughts in his mind. His hands felt so slippery, his whole body shaking slightly, and he felt like he just had no control over his reactions at this point. Adachi's heart was beating so loud and quick in his chest he feared it might explode.

_ I'm such a fucking dumbass. Fuck. What did you think? Of course, Kurosawa is not for you. Why did you think you could make it? _

_ He probably hates you. He should. You're such a fuck-up.  _

_ You're good at nothing, you don't deserve Kurosawa. _

_ He's better off without you. _

**"Stop!"** Adachi's loud voice echoed through his childhood room, covering his ears with his hands. It was useless, it's not like that that the voices in his mind would ever go away. But he still tried, tears soaking his whole face wet. The voices never went away, not until he heard a loud scream of his name. That was his mom, calling him for breakfast.

_ Fuck, better hide it… _

**"C-Coming!"** His voice was so shaky and he was sure his mother would look at him weirdly all morning; she wasn't one to pressure her son into talking. He also knew he wouldn't speak a word of it. He wasn't ready, and just pushed any thoughts about his boyfriend into the back of his mind. 

As he sat on the ground that night, Adachi felt weirdly empty. He had pretended all day that everything was fine, and now, he was with himself again. He was filled with remorse, knowing he was probably the worst coward to have ever crossed earth. Running away, that's what he had done again. That's what he always did because he hated to face problems and couldn't take his mind off the last words Yuichi told him. Endlessly sweet, patient, loving Yuichi, who almost screamed at him to do his business alone, without him. That almost seemed like a breaking-up saying, and Kiyoshi felt his heart sink in his chest at the mere thought of it.

It wasn't long before tears rolled down his cheeks, weakly. He knew he probably looked miserable, sitting on the ground, crying and sniffling, dressed from the same clothes as the previous day. He regretted more than anything how he got so mad at his boyfriend, the look on his eyes when they were arguing...He seemed...Beaten down, like he felt betrayed, and that look on Kurosawa's face made Adachi feel like a jerk. That's not what he meant, he was just so damn bad at communicating.

The thought of his boyfriend leaving him couldn't get out of his mind, making his head hurt even more. What would he do without Yuichi? He was used to loneliness before all that journey started. Now? He knew things would never go back to the way they were, it was simply impossible. Not when he got accustomed to this smile, those kisses, and the way Kurosawa's eyes shined every time he'd look at them. 

He didn't want to go back to his lonely, boring routine. He wouldn't be able to handle it. Yet, all that he could think was that he would be forced to, after what he did.  _ I'm the worst dumbass. _

Adachi's head fell on the side of the bed, a loud sigh escaping his lips. Swallowing painfully, the young man didn't know how long he stayed there, looking at the ceiling. Tiredness finally got him, and Kiyoshi fell asleep like that, on the ground.

  
  
  


**"Wake up! Wake up!"**

Kiyoshi felt light land on his face, hands powerfully shaking his weak body. Slowly rubbing his eyes, he finally recognized the owner of the voice as his cousin, Lisa.  _ What is she doing here? _

**"God, when was the last time you showered or changed clothes? Do that. I'm waiting for you in the living room."**

As she exited the room, the young man knew this wasn't a suggestion. It was an order, and if he didn't do it, Lisa would make sure to drag him herself. He didn't particularly want to, feeling defeated. He had no choice. 

Yawning and stretching out, Adachi took the first clothes he could find and made his way to the familial bathroom. And, when he got out about half an hour later, a sweet smell of coffee was around the house.

  
  
  


Adachi's hands were shaking when he took the cup of tea Lisa handled him. The cup was hot against his fingertips, nearly burning them, but he couldn't find himself to care about such a trivial matter. His breath was still somewhat shaky and his feet were thumping against the floor, a habit of his when he was anxious.

The smaller man was glad his parents weren't home, otherwise, he'd be too embarrassed to talk to them and didn't want to come out yet. Lisa was someone he grew up with, practically his sister, and not that he didn't trust his parents, but he felt like he could tell her first. She would never judge and she was a good advice-giver. After all, she helped him through many, many anxiety attacks throughout his whole life and she knew him well. 

**"What's up?"**

A long sigh escaped Kiyoshi's lips as soon as the words were out of Lisa's mouth, yet the only thing he did was swallow and tap his fingers on the cup. He didn't know how to say that, how to explain it all. Even for himself, remembering the events of the previous days made no real sense to him. It was like everything was blurry in his mind, deconstructed, and he didn't know how to put it all into words. 

_ Adachi remembered the way he walked into the office that day, not feeling particularly angry or even happy; a normal Friday morning. Walking towards his desk, the young man saw that his computer was still open. In front of him, the datas he promised to fill for the next day, all...Done? _

**_"Congrats, Adachi! The datas you sent were incredible, you must have spent some more hours yesterday at work to finish it!"_ **

_ Kiyoshi knew he didn't, in fact, complete them overwork. But he immediately knew  _ _ who _ _ did. The thought suddenly angered him. _

_ "Does he think I can't do it myself?! And he needs to stop doing things for me when he needs to rest!" _

Truly, the thing Adachi was truly angry about was that his boyfriend never took time for himself and was often overworked. He was just worried and wanted to scream at Kurosawa to take some damn rest. And maybe he was a bit jealous that he never received such eloquent comments about his work...Unless Yuichi helped him or did it from him. It made him feel like he was useless without help. He overreacted, worded it all wrong and now he was probably single. Great.

He was very bad at boyfriending and all those things…

So he told it all to his cousin, stumbling over his words many times and just trying to explain his side the best he could. In front of him, she was sipping her coffee, listening attentively. When Adachi was done with his monologue, Lisa looked at him with a look that said  _ "really?" _ .

**"I won't comment on the fact you hid your** **_boyfriend_ ** **from me,"** she started playfully, a smile tugging at the corner of her reddish lips.  **"but I think you're overreacting, Ki'. From what you're telling me, your boyfriend seems like a good guy. I think you were both just tired and said shit, it happens. I'm sure if you call him, he'll forgive you. Everything will be fine!"**

At this, Kiyoshi bit his own nervously. He wasn't exactly sure of that statement, to be honest. 

**"I, uh, I forgot my phone at the office...And he doesn't know I'm here. I don't know his full number…"**

Adachi didn't miss the way Lisa's eyebrows shot to her hairline, in a disbelief way that only made the man feel more guilty. He was truly one hell of a dumbass.

**"If I was him, I'd slap you once I'd you. But judging from what you told me, he's not the type to do that. You're seeing him tomorrow, right?"**

At the simple thought of seeing Kurosawa at work the next morning, Kiyoshi felt his heartbeat pick up, his eyes widening.  _ Shit.  _ He completely forgot about that. 

He didn't know if he'd be able to face his lover after what happened, not after worrying him so much. He was also still very afraid that he would get thrown away right there, Yuichi finally being tired of waiting and trying to understand the puzzle that was Adachi's mind. He didn't know how he'd survive getting broken up like that.

**"Stop overthinking, Kiyoshi. You have to face him anyway, you can't keep running away all your life. It'll be okay."**

Oh, Kiyoshi hoped his cousin was right. Even if he himself wasn't sure about how good the things would go.


	3. You're my heatbeat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The promised happy ending ♡

Yuichi was pretty sure he never looked more miserable than today, as he looked at himself in the mirror. 

Walking to the station alone had been wild, his hands shaking slightly as he sat down in the metro. The only thing replaying over and over in his mind was the feeling of Adachi's hands holding his, the way he would smile shyly, and how Kurosawa would often pass his hand through his bed hair. Then, if Kiyoshi felt particularly good, he would lay his head on his shoulder, still, that same sweet smile that made Kurosawa absolutely crazy, full of joy. Now, all that was left were memories and he barely contained the tears threatening to fall from his eyes at that moment. Next to him, he could hear a girl trying to ask his name, trying to start a conversation. He was usually the type to answer, no matter what the intentions of the person might be. This morning, the last thing he wanted to do was socialize. Hence, he just pretended he didn't hear her and focused on the landscape defiling in front of him. The voice next to him died down eventually.

**"Wow Kurosawa-San, you look...Tired. Did you get enough sleep last night?"**

Kurosawa knew this was just a nice way to say he looked absolutely horrible. He appreciated the subtleness, and only plastered a fake smile on his face as he thanked her for worrying and that he would try to sleep more tonight. He hated when people stuck their noses where they didn't belong, especially when it was about his private life. 

_ I barely slept in two days, waiting for my boyfriend to come home. I have no news, of course, I look horrible! Stop looking at me like that! _

That's all he wanted to scream at everyone, but did nothing of it. Instead, he kept on smiling politely and greeting his coworkers as they got in the elevator. Slowly retrieving his phone from his pocket, the young man checked his messages.

Kiki💖:

_ I miss you...I prepared your favorite breakfast just in case you came home. I love you. _

Distributed

_ Tsuge is worried for you too...He has no news...At least text him, please? He's your best friend… _

Distributed

_ I know you're not reading this right now. I'm scared you never will. But I love you. I miss your smile, your voice and I regret what I said. If something happened to you...I'll never forgive myself. You're the love of my life, Adachi. I just hope you're okay. _

Distributed

_ I love you, my angel. _

Distributed

  
  


All the messages were left unread, and Kurosawa's heart tightened in his chest. Painfully. He never thought love could hurt this way, not used to love someone so much. He truly never loved anyone as much as he loved Kiyoshi and the simple thought of spending the rest of his life without him...It broke everything in him. His throat was tightening and he swore he never took less place in a public space before; he was almost curled upon himself. 

As he walked to his desk and saw every desk except Adachi's occupied, he prayed to every single duty for his boyfriend's well-being at the moment. That's all he wanted, even if it meant without him…

  
  


Yuichi barely knew how he made it through the day, with everyone coming to him as always to ask stupid questions. He wasn't the only man in the office! Couldn't he have one goddamn day of peace?

Nevertheless, Kurosawa stayed Kurosawa, which meant he couldn't say no. Despite the ache running through his body and his eyes almost swelling up with tears as soon as he looked at his boyfriend's desk, he did what he had to do. The day never seemed longer, but he had no wish to go home either. He didn't want to be anywhere, there wasn't one place that could solve his problems. 

Everyone kind of noticed the way their usual hectic, smiley coworker seemed down. The way he would often space out and how he retrieved to the bathroom once or twice for a few minutes, probably to cry. Nobody asked anything, feeling like it would be too invasive. Kurosawa was more than glad of it, enjoying the peace he finally had. Even if it meant being alone with his scary thoughts; those of never seeing Adachi again. It was probably the thing that scared him the most, but there wasn't anything he could do about it. Except for wait, wait, and wait again.

He could feel his heartbreaking in 1000 pieces.

  
  
  


Meanwhile, Adachi was both glad and annoyed he had been dragged to meetings almost all day long. His body was screaming in endless pain, mind barely able to concentrate with everything that happened the last few days. It was like his body was constantly on the edge, anxiously waiting to see his boyfriend that he loved so much. He really, really hoped the latter still did too. He could feel nausea getting to him the more he thought about it and he just wanted to run away. 

But he couldn't. The last meeting ended, and he had to go see Kurosawa. He had to go see him, talk to him, beg him to forgive him. He couldn't stand losing him...The mere thought made him want to cr-

**"Adachi-Senpai, there you are!"** Rokkaku's energetic, joyful voice almost gave Kiyoshi a heart attack. He looked as energetic as ever, a big smile on his lips and barely staying in place. He for sure had ADHD or something like that, thought Adachi distantly. But, before he could answer anything, Rokkaku spoke again.

**"Kurosawa-Senpai looks kind of down! I'm sure seeing you would help him, he always smiles when he's next to you!"**

_ It's your fault, loser. You made your boyfriend sad. _

Kiyoshi bit his lower lip nervously, holding his folders close to his heart. Suddenly, he was much unsure if he was ready to face Kurosawa and see what a mess he made. Fuck, maybe he should just go away and wait until they're h-

**"Come!"**

Unsurprisingly, the youngest man quickly grabbed his senpai's hand and brought him to the main office. Urabe, seeing him from the corner of his eyes, saluted him and Adachi said hello back shyly. No one was truly staring, but he felt so incredibly uneasy.

Then, his eyes landed on the desk he always went to. There was sitting Yuichi, working and looking...Miserable. His hair was disheveled, and Adachi didn't know if he ever saw that, even if he slept with him many times. He looked pale, sick like he didn't sleep during the last 7 days. Kurosawa was like a robot on autopilot as if any joy in his body went away. The sight did something to Adachi, who felt unable to breathe or swallow properly. He wasn't sure he could even walk.

**"Go ahead, senpai! He needs his friend!"**

Rokkaku's voice was sweet, a nice smile on his lips. The kid was just trying to help the best he could, as he always did, and Kiyoshi couldn't be mad for that. He didn't have any not suspicious reasons to say no either...So he smiled a bit nervously and went towards Kurosawa, still eyed by a smiling Rokkaku.  _ Ah, at least go back to your things! What am I gonna say! _

Adachi could see it, the way the youngest man mouthed a "go for it!!" as soon as he was behind Kurosawa. Guess he didn't have the choice…

**"H-Hi Kurosawa-Kun!"** He looked stupid, stammering and holding his folders so tightly against him as someone could potentially steal him. Still, on autopilot, the taller man spun around on his chair, turning around and expecting to see any of his coworkers. Adachi was so nervous he could feel his pulse in his ears and wasn't sure how he didn't die yet. 

**"Ye-Adachi?"**

The look on his face was priceless and Kiyoshi would've probably teased him about it if it wasn't such a primordial matter. He looked like someone who just saw a ghost, his whole eyes open wide. The guys next to them eyed Kurosawa, wondering why he looked so surprised to see Adachi next to him. It wasn't unusual, and nobody truly understood except them.

**"H-hey! Lovely evening, isn't it? Uh, I...I'm sorry, I didn't want to bother you, just wanted to say hi! Tell me if you need help!"**

As quickly as he came, Kiyoshi...Ran away again. Well, to his desk, but he still ran away and he never wanted to hit himself harder than he did the moment he sat down in front of his computer. Some seconds passed and he turned his head a bit, watching Kurosawa's face that still looked very much shocked. Under the persistence of his eyes, Kiyoshi only blushed and looked in front of him again. His heart was beating so damn loud in his chest, he was surprised the whole office didn't hear it.

Needless to say, the next hours were the longest Adachi ever lived. It was like each hour lasted a day, and he had way too much difficulty concentrating on simple tasks. Just the same as Yuichi, who felt every nerve in his body on fire.  _ Adachi was alive! He was fine! _ But also...That meant he was angry enough to avoid him all weekend, and possibly even today if he wasn't in the office… Kurosawa didn't know how to feel, so relieved and worried that he was shaking. He wanted to drop to his knees, beg for forgiveness, and kiss Kiyoshi senseless. He guessed the latter wouldn't really appreciate it, so he stayed on his chair, feeling way too stiff. He couldn't wait for the day to end. 

As soon as the clock ticked the last hour of their obligatory work-shift, Adachi was quick to shut everything off and retrieved his things. He thought he could escape the discussion that he imagined would end badly, that was until the elevator doors opened and he felt someone enter alongside him. Without even looking, he knew it was Kurosawa. There was so...Noticeable about his aura, about the way he acted and behaved.

**"A lovely evening indeed…"**

It was like they were strangers again. It sounded so informal when Kurosawa talked, obviously unsure of what he could and couldn't say. Adachi felt horribly guilty, head hanging low. He couldn't look at Yuichi in the eyes, his heart tightening painfully.  _ Please, keep loving me… _

**"I'm sorry…"**

Adachi felt a warm, careful hand on his back. That hand was slightly shaking, and he was glad he wasn't the only one feeling so nervous at the moment.

**"Let's talk about this at home, shall we?"** Understanding, sweet Kurosawa, who took off his hand as quickly as he put it. He couldn't believe his boyfriend wasn't screaming at him or didn't seem that angry...Did the patience of this man have an end?

In lieu of an answer, the smaller man only nodded shyly, eyes tentatively meeting his partner's. There was a small, sweet smile on his lips. Kiyoshi definitely missed that.

What Kiyoshi missed, even more, was feeling Yuichi's warmth. When they settled in the train, just like they always did, a couple of seconds passed. Adachi was looking at the window when he felt a hand taking his, slowly. It was an unsure contact, one that Kurosawa prayed wouldn't be broken off. It seemed like his prayers went answered because Adachi only held his hand tighter as a slight blush appeared on his cheeks.  _ He's so fucking cute. _

And, when the two boys stepped into the house, after taking off their clothes, they both started talking at the same time.

**"I'm sorry!"**

Both boys looked surprised, frozen by the sudden happening, and that was what broke the ice as they started laughing a bit. The tension was slowly relieving, and Kiyoshi and Yuichi were able to sit on the sofa side to side. 

**"I didn't mean to say that… You know, I just...Thank you, Thank you for what you did. But...Sleep a bit, instead of doing my work, Kurosawa-San. Also...I was at my parent's...I forgot my phone in the office…"**

The embarrassed/guilty look on Adachi's face made Yuichi smile and laugh in relief, realizing how much he worried for not much. He couldn't believe he didn't think of that...But at the moment, it didn't really matter as Kiyoshi was there, next to him, smiling a bit and Kurosawa was still holding his hand. 

**"Wow...Well, the texts I sent you are a bit embarrassing then. I thought you were like...Dead or something. Happily, it's not that...I'm sorry too. I should've asked you before doing any work in your place. I just wanted to help you. I hate seeing you rush to fill everything."**

Yuichi's voice was sweet, but Adachi could hear the sound of his heartbeat filling the room. It made the man smile fondly, looking away under the shyness. He secretly couldn't wait to check these texts.

**"I know...So, you, you still love me?"**

Kurosawa's face lit up, a laugh escaping his lips. He seemed amused, even more, fond of his boyfriend. A hand slowly came to replace a strand of hair falling on his face.

**"You know I do, angel."**

The nickname made Adachi blush, something he absolutely hated. It had been one year, and it was one of Yuichi's favorite things to call him! How could he still be so flustered each time he heard it!! Ah, he hated his shyness. He really had to get rid of that someday.

Next to him, Kurosawa was smiling so big, the love was apparent in his face. Adachi wanted to groan, tell him he was being a bit too sappy but...He didn't really mind. He couldn't even help himself from melting on his lips right there and then, feeling his boyfriend's lips curl into a bigger smile. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finished this fic while listening to what is love by twice. Can't think of a more fitting song for the end ahah.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed! Comments are appreciated ♡


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